Amit Goes Blogging

I cannot abolish questions that seek answers to my place in existence. The 'why and how' takes away from my enthusiasm for life. The value one places on life is an assumption. How can we be sure of its purpose? Knowledge can fill our minds but not the blankness where life wiggles. Adding more and more meaning on one side can keep us busy but cannot weigh down the question 'why are we here?' rising at the other side. This hopeless 'why' never leaves us alone nor leads to an answer.  Slipping into life is like wearing wet pyjamas to sleep; such irritable feeling life is. I believe not all suicides result from unhappiness, they could also result from an indifference to life. Coming into existence and being snuffed out of existence describes our lives. In the meanwhile is the ambition, the dream and the hope of outliving our time. There are specks of emotion, of action, of inaction, of understanding, of ignorance and then extinction. Helplessly we arrive and helple...

People who have described my writing as straddling the fence will see a reason for it. I am afraid you would be bogged down after reading this. Discontent has been my lifelong companion, going down all the way my earliest memories as child. Nothing could prevent the feeling of being short-changed at the end of every activity. I always had to encourage happiness to justify the desirability of action. But, on the inside, I was an unhappy traveller following an unsolicited itinerary. People were just tolerable. Obliging them mind-numbing. I had made an unstable peace with the fact that we are condemned to live and also tasked with making living enjoyable. Kids of my age derived great satisfaction in eating raw guavas stolen from the neighbourhood. But, when I set my teeth into the hard crust, I doubted whether the risk and the effort involved in the ordeal were worth it; was the resulting joy any close to expectations. When were we overjoyed when seeking joy? Playing cricket in th...

It came as a blow to my healthy efforts at wooing my female colleagues. Can you believe that for girls in my company a common nativity is a reason enough to make friends with guys and feel safe in their company? Why is beauty prejudiced? Let beauty know that it has no value in absence of a beholder. I think it is the fate of all girls to falter before they move in the right direction; to choose waywardness and mistake the call of my heart for somebody else's. Nobody in the office has waited so earnestly for their arrival as I did. I broke the jinx hanging on our workplace as only a few months had elapsed after my arrival when some darling faces joined the company which was suffering the brunt of male population in the form of workplace dissatisfaction. With my coming, came the girls and the enthusiasm. And the first encounter with all of them was love at first sight. If only they gazed a little longer into my eyes they would see the overflowing love for them. But, they seem to tak...

There are days when sleep quits you at its usual hour, but sloth pins your head to the pillow and dreams brightened in the daylight float by. These dreams do not need a Freudian interpretation as they scale out from the real world. What differentiates these dreams from thoughts is that they deny subservience to practicality. Some of them turn out to be wish-fulfilling. They avenge the past injustices meted out to you, or they offer a pleasure ride, a jaunt to the inaccessible object of pleasure. Today, as I slept in, a dream drifted in and left me with a sense of empowerment. Let me give you the backdrop before narrating the dream. I was as an English language trainer with a spoken English institute, Elixir. Being an undergraduate then, I was not a trainer on papers. So, I was entrusted with the task of counselling candidates who came for inquiry. Interestingly, my first counselling session with a candidate resulted in on-the-spot admission. The villain of the dream, the centre manag...