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Showing posts with the label first love

My First Love

In the summer of 1999, my parents had some unusual plans: we were to spend our vacations 1000 km away from home at Chitrakut where Shree Ram spent 11 years of his 14-year exile. There was an ashram in Chitrakut and the Swamiji heading the ashram was also a Yoga exponent. My mother had been suffering from arthritis. This made father very anxious and he did everything possible to alleviate her suffering. But, her resistance proved a hurdle in my father’s attempts to restore her health. He could neither pull her into the habit of morning-walk nor make her take to the treadmill by her bed. When Father bought her costly, light-weight sneakers, she poked fun at him saying that he was stepping into dotage. While mother was a mother to her kids, Father knew that his dear wife craves no less attention. He decided to take her to the ashram at Chitrakut. Again, she wouldn't relent without a fuss. She said she would neither stay at the ashram nor at a hotel. She wanted freedom for her chi...

The Irresistible Love

She left! Our reunion was at the mercy of a few hours, but it was not to be. My eyes are still running hither thither anxiously hoping against the reality that has struck me brutally. The anguish howls in my ears and my eyes stare into the nothingness that has filled the place. The barrenness of this place will prick me as long as I am here and I have to bear with it every moment of my stay here. She kept asking me why I didn't stop her. She wanted the prayers of my heart to issue from my lips. I forbade from doing so, for lips spell commitment and it is something I cannot stick to now. I am torn between desiring and disowning; crushed between her overpowering love and the devotion of my first love; hung between the liberating love and the binding commitment. Why does my heart reach out in love to her? Why does she beat with my heart? Why every spring of love invites me to bathe in its waters? Am I not cheating on my previous commitments? Let the questions remain and let love rema...