She Earns More Than Me ..... Errrrr???
Such a dreadful thought! What if it becomes a reality! I admit my fear although it exposes me as a male chauvinistic pig. The fear does not arise because of her financial independence but the financial might that mostly decides what is right in our lives (it also decides 'who is right'). Money and resources is what it takes to empower a man or a woman and also to overpower others.
The spirit of manhood is something that a boy grows into. The idea takes root in him when he looks up to his father as the salvager when difficulties strike the family. He sees that a male figure heads the family in all its important decisions. I have no idea of how it is in other countries, but, in India, a boy is regarded as the 'lamp of the family' and before he merits such eulogy, he has to burn. Manhood is an outcome of gruesome severities of life that attend upon him. He is called upon to live up to his family's name. He pays a price for it.
Education is the first ordeal that he is to prove himself at. His commitment towards academics determines his devotion to the family. It is the marks in the exams that earn him prestige; his remarks are of no consequence. One has to see to believe the agony a boy is put to! While education for girls remains an engagement, for boys it is a choiceless occupation. The burden of his future adds to the burden of his books.
When kids make a mistake, always a boy is picked up and the very severity of punishment meted out to him serves as a lesson to the chicken-hearted sisters who break down in tears at the very sight of such coercion. The boy takes into his head that he is born not only to bear his cross but also to shield the meek and the quaking.
His dressing sense is confined to what is possible within a mix and match of a couple of outfits while his sister flaunts a wardrobe that is constantly replenished. His good looks are what he earns as scars on his forehead and sunburns on his face unlike his sister whose looks have to be worked at by refraining from hard labour and throwing herself in cosmetic indulgence. His smartness lies in dealing with 'all sorts that make this world' and her smartness lies in avoiding strangers.
When this boy grows into an adult, his manhood is not to be construed as male chauvinism. Geniality was not to be his in the ravages he was put through. It is a rare quality that only women inherit and it suits their role as home-makers. A certain social behaviour pattern has instilled in him respect for the gentle and perfected his role as a fighter and breadwinner.
Now, if suddenly the roles are reversed, it shall definitely affect the love economics between my wife and me. It could tip the balance that had very long been tilted to one side and the dust arising thereof could suffocate our relationship. One fine day my marital existence might toe the law of diminishing utility with majority stakes in relationship flowing to her. How unbecoming of a man! That for which I have been consciously and unconsciously working all these years - the privilege of a decision-maker, I have not been accorded with. And, I have to live by a different norm that breaks the dichotomy of male and female in all aspects!
(592 words)
The spirit of manhood is something that a boy grows into. The idea takes root in him when he looks up to his father as the salvager when difficulties strike the family. He sees that a male figure heads the family in all its important decisions. I have no idea of how it is in other countries, but, in India, a boy is regarded as the 'lamp of the family' and before he merits such eulogy, he has to burn. Manhood is an outcome of gruesome severities of life that attend upon him. He is called upon to live up to his family's name. He pays a price for it.
Education is the first ordeal that he is to prove himself at. His commitment towards academics determines his devotion to the family. It is the marks in the exams that earn him prestige; his remarks are of no consequence. One has to see to believe the agony a boy is put to! While education for girls remains an engagement, for boys it is a choiceless occupation. The burden of his future adds to the burden of his books.
When kids make a mistake, always a boy is picked up and the very severity of punishment meted out to him serves as a lesson to the chicken-hearted sisters who break down in tears at the very sight of such coercion. The boy takes into his head that he is born not only to bear his cross but also to shield the meek and the quaking.
His dressing sense is confined to what is possible within a mix and match of a couple of outfits while his sister flaunts a wardrobe that is constantly replenished. His good looks are what he earns as scars on his forehead and sunburns on his face unlike his sister whose looks have to be worked at by refraining from hard labour and throwing herself in cosmetic indulgence. His smartness lies in dealing with 'all sorts that make this world' and her smartness lies in avoiding strangers.
When this boy grows into an adult, his manhood is not to be construed as male chauvinism. Geniality was not to be his in the ravages he was put through. It is a rare quality that only women inherit and it suits their role as home-makers. A certain social behaviour pattern has instilled in him respect for the gentle and perfected his role as a fighter and breadwinner.
Now, if suddenly the roles are reversed, it shall definitely affect the love economics between my wife and me. It could tip the balance that had very long been tilted to one side and the dust arising thereof could suffocate our relationship. One fine day my marital existence might toe the law of diminishing utility with majority stakes in relationship flowing to her. How unbecoming of a man! That for which I have been consciously and unconsciously working all these years - the privilege of a decision-maker, I have not been accorded with. And, I have to live by a different norm that breaks the dichotomy of male and female in all aspects!
(592 words)
Comments
Though at some point,I was drifting towards an ideal solution that this issue doesn't make any difference to me & I can live with my partner earning more than me ... but at second thoughts,I was not able to satisfy myself with this reasoning.
During my school days, I read stories about villages in South India where Females are the head of the family. I don't know whether this is true or not.. but if yes, then I am interested in knowing how the system works there.
Anyways, coming to the main topic, its all about perception. If we choose Money to be the primary factor governing our lives, we will succumb every now and then to its relative measure.
Once you remove this 'complex' from your mind it then burns down to 'understanding'.
I am leaving right now...will continue on this.