A Seven Year Tussle
That, which doesn't kill you, strengthens you. I endorse these words having spent 7 long years in academic confinement. Now, when I have done my time in that condemned institution, I regret the wrong choice I made in opting for engineering.
My memory takes me to the hostel-life. The first year was a fight for a place in the boisterous crowd of hard-baked sadist. I found myself a misfit in that cradle of wild beliefs. Staying peaceful was cowardice, exploiting others was finesse. Utilising time for anything apart from gossip was not tolerated. I still made it into the second year.
I chose to stay alone and went headlong in pursuing my interests. For the first time I was all to myself with none to question me. I bought a tape-recorder; bought a good many cassettes; freely read non-academic books, which I couldn't under my father's regime. Gossip was a major time-killer. I developed a taste for it. I literally forgot the purpose of staying away from my people. The result: I failed.
It was the first academic failure and I had always avoided complete lies. I broke the news to my parents about failing in 4 subjects when I actually failed in 8 of them. I was called back home. My people would show no mercy; my failure would come handy to run me down if I ever stood my ground. I couldn't manage to study the other 4 papers and flunked again. This time, I chose not to speak the truth.
I came to Pune and had a successful stint at a call centre. My bearing got me an award in the company. 50k in the bank and earning, what would come of it? Post-paid connection, books, a credit at the nearby store and a plethora of friends, who lodged at my flat. And, how can I forget those pangs of infatuation when love entered my life for the first time! Before my darling could miss me, I was by her side, traversing 2000 kms. During this time, I caught one evil after another - evil by general conscience; I carry no guilt of these evils on my conscience except that they incurred expenditure. Some rich experiences I owe to them.
The pleasant days were haunted by phone calls from family and friends. A consummate liar that I had become, I skillfully managed the volley of questions. I curtailed my social contacts. It did pain me, but what is done cannot be undone. It went on like this for 4 years. In the meantime, I ran out of money; my parents got the wind of my devilry and I had to surrender. The pent up agony of all these years streamed out in tears. My parents lamented the colossal waste of years and the debt I ran into was too much for them to stomach. This time I was forgiven and my monthly allowances also started flowing in. By this time, fortunately, I was out of college.
What I earned out of this experience? I learnt that self-respect is a luxury which prosperity confers on you and taken away in bad times. I arrived at a true count of my friends. I had to pay through my nose for my extravagances.
Now, when things are changing for better, I find life flowing at very low ebb!
My memory takes me to the hostel-life. The first year was a fight for a place in the boisterous crowd of hard-baked sadist. I found myself a misfit in that cradle of wild beliefs. Staying peaceful was cowardice, exploiting others was finesse. Utilising time for anything apart from gossip was not tolerated. I still made it into the second year.
I chose to stay alone and went headlong in pursuing my interests. For the first time I was all to myself with none to question me. I bought a tape-recorder; bought a good many cassettes; freely read non-academic books, which I couldn't under my father's regime. Gossip was a major time-killer. I developed a taste for it. I literally forgot the purpose of staying away from my people. The result: I failed.
It was the first academic failure and I had always avoided complete lies. I broke the news to my parents about failing in 4 subjects when I actually failed in 8 of them. I was called back home. My people would show no mercy; my failure would come handy to run me down if I ever stood my ground. I couldn't manage to study the other 4 papers and flunked again. This time, I chose not to speak the truth.
I came to Pune and had a successful stint at a call centre. My bearing got me an award in the company. 50k in the bank and earning, what would come of it? Post-paid connection, books, a credit at the nearby store and a plethora of friends, who lodged at my flat. And, how can I forget those pangs of infatuation when love entered my life for the first time! Before my darling could miss me, I was by her side, traversing 2000 kms. During this time, I caught one evil after another - evil by general conscience; I carry no guilt of these evils on my conscience except that they incurred expenditure. Some rich experiences I owe to them.
The pleasant days were haunted by phone calls from family and friends. A consummate liar that I had become, I skillfully managed the volley of questions. I curtailed my social contacts. It did pain me, but what is done cannot be undone. It went on like this for 4 years. In the meantime, I ran out of money; my parents got the wind of my devilry and I had to surrender. The pent up agony of all these years streamed out in tears. My parents lamented the colossal waste of years and the debt I ran into was too much for them to stomach. This time I was forgiven and my monthly allowances also started flowing in. By this time, fortunately, I was out of college.
What I earned out of this experience? I learnt that self-respect is a luxury which prosperity confers on you and taken away in bad times. I arrived at a true count of my friends. I had to pay through my nose for my extravagances.
Now, when things are changing for better, I find life flowing at very low ebb!
Comments
your comments truly sums up my blog. and that too with such powerful vocab!
well, here is the problem and it is going since ages. Whatever people say abt India that its going to be superpower and etc.. With this attitude among people, things won't be easy. Because of sheer size of our country and so many diversities, it would be difficult to overcome this thinking.