Girlfriend, a hopeless quest

During my college days, the idea of a relationship with the fair sex had always tugged at my heartstrings (it still does); whereas, boys, who infested my life, had always been a nuisance (they still are). Boys around felt the same. Hit with boyhood syndrome, we always flocked together at tea-stalls, college canteen, or languished in our rooms.

Each lauded his achievements to which none was a witness. Some boys accomplished their life-work on the train; some had their first lessons in love-making from the servant-maid; some, while in school, were regular visitors to the house of ill-fame and women of easy virtue swore by their libido; some even claimed to be happy victims of child molestation at the hands of girls in their neighbourhood. Even I concocted stories in self-glorification in that I was a hot favourite among girls at school. My appearance betrayed my claim. Everyone had a glorious past but a sad present. We spent time gossiping about others' affairs; heaping criticism on them, and commending our position. But, the hearts ached all the same. Every session dispersed with vows of taking a girl within a deadline. The vows invariably failed and the deadlines pushed further.

Among girls, we had only two categories: good and very good. Ugly girls, I mean good girls, also got our unblinking attention and we considered it social service to tease them, thus helping them grow out of their inferiority complex. This act, we believed, brought us in the good books of God.

Time was running out and it had been five years at college with no girlfriend. Reform was definitely needed. Our failure was attributed to our unenterprising spirit and happy-go-lucky nature. The life-size mirror, stolen from the college lab, never revealed the truth about us. It was felt that there were many rough edges to our person, which distanced the girls from us. It was time to refine our manners.

Formals was the dress code, even in our evening walks. If a girl happened to notice us smoking, in the pretense of a grave misdeed, the cigarette was tossed and crushed under foot (style was never forsaken) as a token gesture of respect. We split up and chose different regions as our hunting ground.

Passwords were hacked, mobile numbers stolen. Boys either kept watch or joined tuitions where the prospective girl had enrolled. Some unbelievers turned regular temple-goers and prayed next to their 'prey'. Our parents were pestered to send us money for bike as bike overweighed good looks in winning girls. Everyone was regular at the gym to acquire a desirable shape.

We started getting close to guys with girl friends and persuaded them to spread the good word about us through their girlfriends. A few of them made friends with brothers of beautiful sisters, which they thought was a foolproof strategy. They did make some progress, but their miscalculation came to them as a rude shock: they were caught and beaten up black and blue. Desperation mounted a few and they were seen confronting girls on the road, demanding immeditae requital for their love. Heads were kept low at the sight of a bombshell despite all the restlessness generated within. This was to show that we cared little for the beautiful. A passing look from a girl was enough consolation, and we felt it was the first glance of the smiling fortune!

Alas! The smile never enriched. Some of us are still fighting the battle!
(576 words)